How to Thank Your Boss — how to talk to a boss that doesn't listen

Eric Sunkel
Sep 13, 2025
2 min read

The boss-employee relationship is one of the most important relationships in your career. It shapes your growth, your confidence, and the opportunities you’re given. But it also requires healthy distance — your boss isn’t meant to be your best friend. They are there to challenge, guide, and help you grow. how to talk to a boss that doesn't listen.

1. Express Gratitude Clearly

When thanking your boss, be specific about the moments that made a difference for you.

“Thank you for trusting me with [specific project]. Your feedback pushed me to deliver at a higher level.”

Being specific shows you are paying attention and truly value their guidance.

When your boss doesn’t seem to listen, approach the conversation with clarity and strategy. Choose the right time — ideally when they aren’t rushed — and keep your message focused on one key point. Use data or examples to back up what you’re saying and frame it in terms of business impact, not just personal frustration. Ask for their perspective to open the door for dialogue instead of confrontation. Finally, follow up in writing with a short summary of what was discussed to ensure alignment and create a reference point for future conversations.

2. Show Appreciation Through Your Work

Your actions are the most powerful form of thanks.

Deliver quality work with attention to detail.
Be proactive — don’t wait to be told what to do.
Keep track of opportunities and share them with your boss when appropriate.

This proves that you value the trust they place in you.

3. Respect Their Leadership Style

Bosses come in many styles:

By-the-book leaders thrive on structure — follow process and stay consistent.
Collaborative leaders want to work alongside you — share ideas and contribute early.
Hands-off leaders give space — keep them updated so they know you’re on track.

Understanding and adapting to their style builds trust and strengthens the relationship.

4. Keep Healthy Boundaries

Friendly is good — overly casual is not. Keep your gratitude professional and focused on the work.

“I appreciate the clarity and direction you provide. It helps me stay focused and motivated.”

5. Look to the Future

End your message with a forward-looking statement.

“I’m excited about the opportunities ahead and look forward to growing under your leadership.”

This frames your gratitude as part of your ongoing professional journey.

How to talk to a boss that doesn't listen

When your boss doesn’t seem to listen, approach the conversation with clarity and strategy. Choose the right time — ideally when they aren’t rushed — and keep your message focused on one key point. Use data or examples to back up what you’re saying and frame it in terms of business impact, not just personal frustration. Ask for their perspective to open the door for dialogue instead of confrontation. Finally, follow up in writing with a short summary of what was discussed to ensure alignment and create a reference point for future conversations.

Call to Action

📖 Want more tools for navigating tough boss relationships?

Check out my book, NOW: The Art of Showing Up, where I cover practical ways to stay grounded, communicate with confidence, and thrive in any work environment.

Find more strategies by scheduling a call with me at https://www.ericsunkelcoaching.com/services

💬 Join the Conversation:

What kind of boss have you had — by-the-book, hands-off, or collaborative? Share your experience in the comments, and let’s explore new ways to handle difficult situations together.